Vorsicht beim Update von Boyfriend to Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband1.0. It wasn't long before I noticed that the new program began making significant changes to the accounting modules, which severely limited access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications - all of which had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention was made of this in the product brochure. I have also noticed that Husband 1.0 has uninstalled several valuable programs, in particular DinnerDancing 7.5, TheaterGoing 2.3, and ExoticHoliday 6.1 and has installed some new, very undesirable programs, such as, MondayNightFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.

I've also found that Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and HouseCleaning 2.6 invariably crashes the system. I've tried running Nag 5.3 to fix the problems, but nothing seems to help. Please advise at your earliest convenience!

Desperate.

Dear Desperate,

This is a very common problem, caused mainly by a primary misconception. Many people upgrade without really understanding that Boyfriend 5.0 is simply an entertainment package.

Husband 1.0, on the other hand, is an operating system designed to run as few applications as possible, and certainly not in any kind of multitasking role. Further, you will find that you are unable to uninstall, delete, or purge Husband 1.0 and re-install Boyfriend 5.0 because hidden system files simply cause Boyfriend 5.0 to crash without warning.

Can we suggest that you read the section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPF's) within your help screen? This is a feature of Husband 1.0 and an integral part of the operating system. To activate this feature, enter the command C:I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. Sometimes this command needs to be run in conjunction with Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers 7.8.

We would advise against excessive use of this command line, however,as overuse can cause serious GPF's and you may have to enter the command C:OKAY I APOLOGIZE before things will return to normal. We have found that excessive use can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5 and, in extreme cases, to revert to GoneUpToThePub 6.1 and Beer 7.5.

Beer 7.5 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fat Belly files and SnoringLoudly wave files which are difficult to delete. You are advised NOT under any circumstances, to install the program MotherInLaw 1.0, as this application is not supported and will cause the selective shutdown of Husband 1.0.

Finally do remember that whilst Husband 1.0 is a great program, it does have limited memory, cannot learn new applications quickly, and will often cause errors. We would recommend that you consider the purchase of additional software to improve Husband 1.0's performance, such as Hot Homemade Dinner 5.3, TrashyLingerie 3.0, and the very latest Patience 10.1.

We hope this helps.

Regards; Tech Support